I Have a Sneaking Suspicion About Our Therapist

Well, this sucks.

I couldn't go to therapy today due to my work schedule, but I'd talked extensively to Guy about what we should bring up in today's session. The main points were: 1) our weekend trip to Sunny's home state, which is sure to stir up some strong emotions 2) recurrence of his chainsaw nightmare 3) the way his fits have lately seemed like he's just going through the motions and isn't really feeling them (he had one this week).

Guy and Sunny showed up on time. The therapist was 5 minutes late. He said he was locked out of his office, so he led them into the file storage room for the session. He brought a chair in for himself, sat on it, and rubbed his forehead while looking distracted. Once Guy realized a chair wouldn't be forthcoming, he sat down on a cardboard box. Sunny just stood. They all talked for a little bit, but the therapist seemed very disjointed. He didn't remember the chainsaw nightmare, or much of anything, for that matter. After ten minutes he asked Sunny if he was feeling OK. Sunny said yes, of course. "See you next week!" That was it. Guy left... but as he drove back he got more and more irritated with the therapist's behavior. The therapist has canceled a lot of sessions in the past. The receptionist he shares with another practice has often called us to cancel sessions because she says he's sick.

It isn't a waste of money for us, because he takes Medicaid and we don't pay anything out of pocket for the sessions. But after some discussion Guy and I decided we're just going to "break up" with him in a passive way. Guy is going to cancel next week's appointment and we're not going to make any new ones. I'll start looking for another therapist that takes Medicaid.

All of the therapist's behaviors point me to one suspected root cause: HEROIN. I'll feel bad if it turns out he has killer migraines or a brain tumor or something like that. But he should say so in that case, because otherwise, it looks very, very squirrely.  In the past, when I've seen or heard of behavior like this, it's been caused by heroin. That whole avoiding eye contact thing seems more like a mark of heroin addiction than crack or meth (people on meth make especially horrible and inappropriate eye contact).  I think he left something he didn't want Guy to see on his desk, and that's why he pretended he was locked out.

When I was a teenager, I worked for a junkie boss once, in an ice cream store, and it was a total nightmare. At first, I thought he was just going into the back of the store and getting drunk or smoking pot. Then he started leaving his dirty needles in a paper bag next to the cash register... He used to go into the backroom for ten minutes or so, then come out front staggering and weaving and ineffectually sexually harassing me. I would wave him away and make him return to the backroom to lie down on the cot in the corner. I left after a few weeks of this, but I heard the situation deteriorated quite a bit afterwards.

I'm going to start looking for a new therapist on Monday. All we need is someone who will do simple play therapy with Sunny weekly, or once every two weeks... who will get to know him, establish a consistent program of anger management for all of us, and be able to work through highly emotional issues with as they arise (like this trip we're taking). All I want from a therapist is that they 1) show up to appointments 2) listen to us and to Sunny and remember what we tell them 3) don't use overtly religious therapies 4) have some experience working with children from foster care 5) do play therapy, which is something that Sunny responds well to. That's not so much to ask for, is it? There are a gazillion therapists in Atlanta and I guess I just have to keep plugging through the lists in search of a new therapist, who will be our fourth one so far.  The first one had no clue, the second was great until she recommended spanking, and the third is... umm... potentially way too problematic.

Our neighbor says their family therapist is great and would fit all the criteria, but he doesn't take Medicaid.  I might end up going to him if things keep falling through with other therapists. Perhaps it could fall under my insurance.