Email from Ojiichan

Dear __-chan

In the freezer, you'll find still a packet of Unagi no kabayaki, still uneaten.

Cut into the portions, and either microwave or steam thoroughly before place them on the HOT STEAMING RICE.

If you serve Unagi with cold rice, you'll burn in hellfire forever. Got it?

Response:

OK Dad. Thanks!

I actually do love this dish. It's a kind of barbecued eel.

The email represents a great, light-hearted encapsulation of a typical communication pattern between us since I was, oh, five years old. Father issues insane, arbitrary, hyperbolic demand, threatens hellfire. Daughter gives cheerful monosyllabic response, ignores demand.