Weekend Update and Assorted Racial Negativity

I'm slowing down a bit, but I do promise to keep writing at least one post a week until things start heating up again.

This week we had a big lefty activism event called the US Social Forum here in Atlanta. My work schedule meant I couldn't attend, although I would have liked to see this presentation on the politics of transracial and transnational adoption. I did volunteer to host some people at my house. We have a spare bedroom after all!

One of the guys staying with us was a veteran former Marine and environmental activist. After he grew up and left home, his mother had adopted from the foster care system. The story was fascinating, and has no happy ending, although it's not quite a tragedy either. I don't feel like I have the right to tell it, so I'll just say it involves true and false sexual abuse allegations, adoption disruption, siblings split apart...

They left for their home state this morning, and then my husband and I went to see the Nuwaubian exhibit at Eyedrum gallery. The Nuwaubians were a cult led by a crazy pedophile named Malachi York who split off from the Nation of Islam and created his own Egyptian-plus-UFO mythology. In the 90s, the Nuwaubians moved from Brooklyn to a rural area to the southeast of Atlanta. The cult is now defunct because their leader is serving 135 years for child molestation. The exhibit was composed of Anderson Scott's photographs of their abandoned Egyptian-themed compound, as well as some of the relics left behind.

From an article on the exhibit
The perfect encapsulation of the look of this meta-Egypt may be the artist's own: "a version of Egypt, but with the color scheme and impermanence of a Mardi Gras float." The sizzling tangerines of the walls inside one building or the pea greens and cobalt blues ornamenting another create a startlingly artificial, human-made contrast with the verdant Georgia landscape and blue skies.

The exhibit was fascinating, and beautiful in a very sad way.

In internet news, I'm still stewing over a post I read at Racialicious.com. The post was an analysis of another article written by a white woman who moved to a black neighborhood and decided it was OK to be racist because of the petty thefts she was experiencing. I am not going to link to the original post. What was quoted in the Racialicious.com article was irritating enough.

From "Racism as a Lifestyle Choice" by Latoya Peterson

Reading both of their pieces, I was struck by the idea that this may be a new form of privilege - two women who openly proclaimed their racism and benefited from it with exposure, media attention, and a sympathetic ear from other whites. Other whites who have the best of intentions, but damn it, these brown people make it so hard NOT to be racist.

Or maybe I am struggling with my racist thoughts because I am unable to muster up sympathy for white people struggling with their inner racism. Maybe I’m just weary of dealing with people who missed the point of Michael Richards’ rant - it wasn’t about the n-word, it was about the noose and fork reference. Maybe I am tired of listening to white people talk about how much they hate themselves or their past deeds, but ultimately have nothing come from the conversation besides a slight lessening of white guilt.

I left quite a few comments on the post because I had a strong emotional reaction to the material. Excuses for racism are infuriating. There is never any excuse.

I'm someone who struggles with internalized racism. I'm psychologically infected with the same "dangerous criminal" stereotypes about black men. I'm also infected by stereotypes about my own race, and about multiracial people. Just this afternoon I was walking into a hardware store, and a white guy looked at me and said "damn, I've been wanting one of those!" I had a surge of adrenaline come over me, a red flash of "HE THINKS I'M AN ASIAN WOMAN SEX OBJECT" and I thought I'd have to get into a possible violent confrontation right there in the parking lot... and then the next second I realized he was talking about the shiny new gas grill on display right next to me. Do you know how stupid I felt? There is so much of this foggy nastiness all around me, as soon as you beat it off it comes floating back in, directed at me, directed by me at other people if I don't stay on guard and watch myself. I've put up with casual cruelty and petty humiliation from people of all races, and I have to try so hard not to let myself react by forming stereotypes, and instead tell myself "they do these things because they are flawed human beings."

The original writer felt that it was too hard to view non-white people as human beings. So she just gave up. She should be ashamed of her apathy, lack of compassion and intellectual laziness.

Speaking of depressing racial stuff, I had a comment this week from a local woman who came upon one of my adoption in Japan posts. I'm going to quote part of it:

From Autumn
My husband is Japanese third generation and we have 2 daughters one bio and the other adopted. [...] We also adopted from China recently after being turned down by the Ga Foster care system (we also live in the Atl area)to adopt a caucasian baby we fell in love with being fostered by a neighbor. Turns out my husband was the wrong color.

I went through a lot of turmoil about how my race would affect adoption, and I can really empathize with my commenter's position. It must have been hellish. And to my commenter: I'm glad you found my blog, I promise to keep writing, and please stick around and let us know if you start your own blog. So far I have faith in my agency (I'm not signed on directly with the GA foster care system).

To wrap up on a positive note, I saw a really gorgeous sunset tonight, all shades of gold, orange and mauve.