Racist Bullying

I rarely read the local Sunday Paper, but I'm glad I checked it out this week. It has an article on bullying that talks a fair amount about racist bullying. The article leads with the story of an Asian adoptee who was bullied and in turn became a bully. It's extremely sad. Several Georgia counties, including the much-maligned Cobb County, are doing some good work trying to address the problem.

I wrote about my experiences with racist bullying in my "Handling Racism as a Child" post. To summarize that post, there is really no way for a child to "handle" it. It's like getting hit on the side of the head by a 2x4. For an adoptee, it's probably like getting hit on the side of the head by a 2x4 while trying to walk a tightrope.

My experiences harmed me for life, but it could have been a lot worse. When I was in college my neighbor was a young Hispanic dark-skinned woman. She told me she had gotten a lot of this type of abuse growing up and remembered a very unhappy childhood. She confessed that when she was a teenager, she used to go nightclubs, pick fights with white girls and beat them up. That was her way of working out her rage. She told me she'd gotten a lot better since then.

I'm proud (and thankful) of the fact that I don't think I ever took it out on anyone else.

I wish people would take this issue more seriously.

One thing I decided early on is that there is noooooooooooooooooooooooooo way I am going to let any child of mine go through this. At the first sign I'll go straight to the principal, find out the names of all the children and parents involved, contact them, and basically overreact in every way I can possibly imagine. And if it happens again after that, I'll pull them out of the school. I am not going to wait and see if it gets better. I am not going to tell them to "tough it out".

Bully!
Georgia schools try new ways to fight an old problem
By Diane Loupe

With most metro area schools starting classes again within the next month, a lot of parents and kids are worried about a problem as old as school itself: bullying. It's especially common in middle school and may be far more dangerous than many would think.

"James" has seen bullying from both sides of the playground.

Kids at his metro Atlanta middle school picked on the slender Asian student, calling him "Wang Chong" and other racial epithets. He tried to laugh and pretend they didn't bother him because otherwise, he says, "they would pick at you more."

James (not his real name), who is now 14, says, "It made me feel bad. They take everything you have and smash it to make themselves feel better."

James' teachers rarely got involved in his battles unless a fight broke out. As the rage boiled up inside him, James began to bully other kids, calling them names. He started picking on his younger, disabled brother.

"You bottle up emotions and feel like you're going to explode," he admits. "Sometimes you need to feel better by picking on someone else."

Eventually, the bullying led to fights, expulsions and therapy. James was hospitalized for serious mental illnesses connected with his aggression. His mother was so afraid he might harm his younger brother that she got an apartment for James and herself, leaving her younger children to live with their father.

She explains that James was bullied because of his ethnicity and because he was adopted.

"The kids told him, 'your mother threw you away,'" she says.

Both mother and son share a frustration with school administrators who didn't take the initial bullying seriously and didn't act to prevent a host of problems for the young man—problems he's still struggling to overcome.

"The bullying set off reverberations that got very distorted in his own thinking," says his mother. "It made him feel very unsafe, very alone. And he lashed out and figured he'd be on the offense. It was way out of proportion."

Bullying is as common in public schools as cafeteria mystery meat and considered by many educators and parents an unpleasant and inevitable rite of passage. In 2001, 14 percent of U.S. students ages 12 to 18 reported that they had been bullied, according to the U.S. Department of Education. Bullied kids were more likely to admit they'd carried weapons to school and gotten into fights. According to federal figures, they were also more likely to have performed poorly academically. In his 1999 book, "Real Boys' Voices," psychologist William Pollack reports that about 160,000 students skip school each year because of bullying. Some even drop out.

According to Charles Gallagher, a sociologist at Georgia State University, racism, like the kind directed at James, is often the root of bullying. Homophobia also asserts itself among students in bullying. While the behavior manifests in cafeterias and playgrounds, it may have its roots in a household where physical or verbal abuse is tolerated or is the default setting for dealing with problems.

"It's never just one thing," says Gallagher. "But, for example, if you have a kid who has older brothers who beat him up and who is shut down anytime he says something, so he constantly retreats to his room where there is no shortage of violent video games and other media, what do you think he is learning?"

Long-term consequences of unchecked bullying can be seen in the adult social context in civic meetings, government bodies and other groups that feature hierarchies and the potential use of power. Those who shout down others in public meetings or officials who refuse to allow those who disagree with them to speak out may have been bullies when they were kids. Or they may have been bullied themselves.

"We see those who typically don't have power—and when they get it, how do they use it?" Gallagher asks.

A dangerous rite of passage

But there are worse reactions to having been bullied than being the local zoning board tyrant: If nobody steps in to change the behavior of bullies when they're in sixth through eighth grade, 60 percent will have criminal records by the age of 24, according to research cited by the International Bullying Prevention Association.

Gallagher points to the Columbine High School massacre and the more recent tragedy at Virginia Tech and the factors that led to the suicidal gunmen's attacks. Though there is absolutely no excuse for such actions, there is an easily recognizable set of circumstances that can have a particularly damaging impact on someone who, like the gunman at VT, has a mental illness or develops one: feeling like an outsider and experiencing severe isolation that includes being shunned.

With such incidents in mind, Joel Meyers, director of Georgia State's Center for School Safety, is studying conditions that foster aggressive behavior to support development of violence-free schools. He acknowledges how much the effect of bullying is underestimated by parents and teachers.

"There is a tendency in society to dismiss bullying as 'kids will be kids,' just a natural part of growing up," he says.

Society often recognizes and rewards bullies. Donald Trump, Ann Coulter, Rosie O'Donnell, Michael Moore, Donald Rumsfeld and Bobby Knight all owe their fame in part to behavior that could be called bullying.

Michael R. Carpenter, a bullying prevention trainer with the Cobb County school system, says many school administrators and teachers use forms of intimidation to manage teachers and students.

"Some administrators like having an upper hand, they like using bullying behavior," says Carpenter, pointing out that some sports teams, police departments and military groups have famously used bullying. He suggests that if a parent walks into a school and finds that the front office "treats you like dirt," it might be fair to suspect a climate of bullying. Teachers can bully students by being sarcastic, picking favorites and letting kids choose teams in P.E. It's also true that kids can bully teachers.

Besides hitting, kicking, pushing, pulling hair or other physical abuse, bullies can wield psychological weapons, such as mean nicknames and social isolation. Students also use the Internet to harass or intimidate others.

Although bullying was once considered a male-dominated behavior, girls now bully as much as boys, tending to use gossip, rumors and social isolation to express their dominance, says Carpenter. Bullying peaks in the older elementary grades and drops off during high school. Hot spots for bullies vary from school to school, but bullies thrive in arenas with limited adult supervision, such as the playground, lunchroom and hallways. Even a substitute teacher can be a license to bully for some kids.

Self-esteem, Carpenter adds, isn't a problem for most bullies, who tend to feel good about themselves and have plenty of friends.

But, like James, some bullies are also victims, as Georgia State's Meyers notes. In GSU's bully prevention programs, researchers work with victims on strategies to cope with bullies.

Since bullies enjoy an audience, bystanders are taught to take actions that interrupt bullying, he says. Simply saying "stop" is better than implying approval by keeping silent.

What schools are doing

Some Georgia schools have started standing up to the bullies. Twenty-three schools in Cobb County have implemented a bully prevention program developed by Scandinavian researcher Dan Olweus, widely considered the world's leading expert on the subject.

In the program, which is also used in Forsyth, Cherokee and Henry Counties, educators learn how to identify and address coercive or bullying behavior, and schools adopt anti-bullying rules and encourage consistent positive and negative consequences for behavior. Additionally, teachers meet regularly to discuss bullying issues. Educators work with students who are bullies as well as victims—and their parents.

In Cobb County, the results have been dramatic. Five of its schools have cut their incidence of bullying by half. Pine Mountain Middle saw a 55 percent drop in bullying, according to surveys of all students taken both before and after the program was implemented. Kemp Elementary saw a 45 percent drop; bullying was also halved at Tapp Middle and Lewis Middle. Milford Elementary reported a 43 percent drop. Schools are also noticing fewer fights and disciplinary referrals.

"If we intervene early, we could reduce kids going to prison," says Carpenter, who helps stage the International Bullying Conference, scheduled for this fall in Florida.

James' mother advises other parents to speak to administrators if they suspect their child is being bullied. Experts agree that getting teachers and administrators involved is of the utmost importance. If students tell one teacher who does nothing about the situation, they should tell another teacher, or an administrator.

James, at least, knows what has prompted his behavior.

"Being bullied makes you feel like you can't live any more," he says. But when you bully someone else, "it feels kinda good." And, like anything that feels good, "It's hard to stop. You're so used to feeling good again." SP