Rollercoaster

Today started kind of flat. I felt really yucky at work, probably due to the disgusting and antiquated office heating system. Problems mounted as usual, but I dealt with them as usual.

At lunch, I went to the adoption office to get a piece of the paperwork finished. While I was getting it done, the worker reminded me that I might experience a long wait for our age range (0-5). She said that it worked in our favor that we were a two-parent couple and we were willing to take small sibling groups. I know this information already, but somehow being reminded of it always depresses me. Every time I think about a long wait I wonder, is it because we're not worthy as parents? How could we work to be better? We fill up the waiting as much as we can with classes, preparation, and work, but it's still hard not to beat myself up about it.

After work I met my husband at a special seminar that's outside of our regular series of classes. I had found it through a state-related website. The seminar was given by two attachment therapists on the topic of attachment, bonding and RAD. They had trained with Nancy Thomas and several other well-known people. The presentation included a grueling 15-minute video consisting of text and voices from the point of view of an attachment-disordered child. The class was very informative and we enjoyed it greatly once we got to the more positive stuff.

I ran into one of the participants, a foster father, after the end of the seminar. I almost never do this, but I had to ask him, "I notice you have a little bit of an accent and I was just wondering if it's Hawaiian?" He cheerfully responded that he was "A Mexarican and a little bit of everything… Hispanic, but people all over the world think I belong to their race or group." He specialized in troublesome teenagers.

I've had a few Mexicans mistake me for Mexican, but I don't think any of them were sober at the time!*

Today the rollercoaster went down and then back up again after class. Then down again when my husband and I had a short but very stupid argument about whether to buy chicken, pasta or chicken and pasta at the same time. We both get grumpy when we're hungry and tired. Tomorrow's going to be another busy day, what with voting and another class at night, but I'll try to do at least a link blog post.

*As a sidenote, there is a small Chinese diaspora presence in the far north of Mexico.