Our Prospects

I feel so much better now. We had a consultation and I put all our issues down on the table (see my earlier post for details). I heard pretty much what I expected to hear, but actually hearing it was really important.

The worker agreed that my race might be an unstated factor in matches, but also said she doubted it would be a very important factor. She didn't think we would be really at a disadvantage compared to a white couple, especially once we articulate ourselves as a couple prepared for all aspects of transracial adoption. She also said that our position was decent, overall. In short, I heard, "you're not paranoid, but you don't need to worry quite so much."

Apparently all the applicants at the agency get very realistic assessments of how other caseworkers in the system are going to view them as potential matches for a child. She told us that opposite sex couples are in the first tier, then singles, then same-sex couples. It's unfortunate that our privileged position as a heterosexual couple comes at the expense of same-sex couples.

We're still not sure about the age issue. We won't need to decide until a week from now. I'm thinking of possibly going up to age 8 from our original 0-5. My mental picture of a child has always been that of a toddler. I just love toddlers. I think I could adjust, though.