Subsidy Negotiation Desperation

I'm probably breaking the advice I gave myself on some earlier posts.  I'm facing a very tough decision I didn't even know I had to make until just this week, and I'm starting to get really desperate and emotional and angry about it.

I've been informed that the next step on BB is to request a subsidy amount.  When we did this for Sunny, it wasn't that hard.  The worker told me exactly what to do.  I sat down in a meeting with our worker, and she gave me a list of things and amounts to request.  I added the amounts together and put that in an email I sent Sunny's ex-worker (who is now BB's worker).  They gave us an amount that was somewhat less than the amount requested.  The end.  That is, except for that weird extortion attempt at the end of last year, which we ignored.

BB has more early documented records: for example, his tox screen after birth.  Currently, he's delayed on several indicators.  He has a lot of stomach problems, and has been on antibiotics more than half the time he's been alive.  He may need physical therapy.  But his issues aren't really severe, either.  His foster mom has been trying to get him a developmental assessment for almost a year now.  Anything she tells me that isn't backed up by a medical evaluation is worthless, apparently, for the purposes of subsidy negotiation. 

I thought we were supposed to get the developmental assessment, then we use that to negotiate the subsidy.  Then we move on to visitation and a placement date.  But BB's worker has been dragging her feet on the assessment. She needs to do some special kind of referral.  I think she's been slacking off on that.  BB's foster mom said that she said that the assessment people were supposed to call her two weeks ago but they never did, for example.

A whole tangled ticket of she-said-she-said-she-said has been growing around the process and choking forward movement.  Instead of a clear 1->2->3 process, now I feel like both workers are trying to dump decisions on my shoulders, but refusing to give me any of the information I need to make these decisions. Today, I've been calling up both workers and getting desperate on the phone with them.  Talking with my worker is often frustrating, because when I press her on anything, she starts talking really, really fast, repeating herself and making annoying tautological statements like "Remember, the subsidy is what it is."

At several points I had to stop with "I'm sorry, that's only making me more confused."  Also, at several points, I said, in a very frustrated voice, "BUT ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THE MONEY!"  That sounds awful, but what I mean is that the assessment has no bearing on whether or not we want to adopt BB.  We are committed to adopting him no matter what it brings up.  All I'm concerned about is getting the maximum subsidy amount in the shortest amount of time!  The subsidy is crucial for anything that Medicaid doesn't cover.  We would never have been able to do neurofeedback therapy for Sunny if it wasn't for his subsidy.

However, maybe it's the case that the state is so strapped that they're going to give him the same subsidy even if the assessment turns up a host of ticking time bombs.  In that case, the assessment would be pointless, and we might as well skip it.

Calling up both workers and getting desperate seems to have kick-started something.  I had the lightbulb idea of suggesting/promising/threatening to pay for my own assessment.  I know how expensive these can be, but it's only a one-time expense.  What I proposed would be to ask BB's foster mom to take him to some independent private clinic, then pay for it myself or immediately reimburse her, and then she would have the documentation to submit to them.  The thought of me doing this seemed to strike the fear of God into both workers.  I guess that's because a) it's a departure from the way things are supposed to work, so they might have to file new paperwork or consult superiors or do something else incredibly time-consuming b) it's logical, so they can't dismiss it out of hand, although they both expressed deep reservations.

I'm prepared to request a subsidy amount without an assessment if things are stalled any longer, though.

Hopefully, they will now argue with each other a bit, then iron it out so that we can move forward.  Or maybe they'll team up against me.  Gah... I don't care as long as we can get this process moving again.